dear t: i was thinking this morning while driving (i always think when i drive lol) about how i seem to be in this place of "i used you for what i needed you for, i'm done now, so move along..." i don't think i really feel so callously do i? then again isn't that what you're in the business of, helping people to not need you anymore? i really don't think i feel that well, cavalierly about it... so i'm not sure where that came from exactly... do you think i feel that way, that i'm being dismissive of you? hmm. I'm not trying to be but then again I think I just hit on something. I think when you said the other day we'll move to an as-needed basis now, it almost felt like a dismissal of ME in a way, like, wait, I thought we'd talk about this a little more and instead you're just implementing it boom no more talk about it?! Maybe it doesn't need any more talk. I don't know how this is supposed to go lol. It's what I wanted, after all. I am so funny aren't I? I tried to quit several times in the past and you would never let me; but now you're saying "You don't need therapy anymore, you haven't in awhile" and agreeing with me. When I told you I didn't know how to say goodbye to you, to 'us', you said "We don't have to make it so final." And you suggested instead the "as-needed basis" thing which I feel really good about actually. So you're kinda still "holding my process" even though we won't be talking regularly anymore. If/when something comes up that I want support, or if I have another one of those "big" dreams that I want your input on, it's nice to know that I can call. Just knowing I CAN, I have a hunch, will be enough most times and I won't. As you said, I know how to do this work. And as I told you, I have no intention of stopping my work just because we won't be talking anymore. It's seriously part of who I am now. Thank you for that. And for SO much else!!!