Khione well done for your year, I'm trying to give up,but the most I have done is a day or two with absolutely no deliberate pain causing behaviour. I know it'll be a struggle to get clean again but people like you inspire me to keep trying to give it up for the first time. I hope you can break the cycle again, but in the meantime don't beat yourself up about an understandable learned way to cope with the stress you feel.