Hi!
There are always steps backwards in a recovering path. I'm sure you are trying the best you can in each moment. Perhaps, tomorrow or the day after tomorrow you will be ready to work even harder.
As pegasus points out, the key is acceptance and then, affection for what you are and what you can get. Your potential. Noone knows how much potential there is in yourself.

A sane self-steem is not something that can be achieved easily bc your starting point is a damage self-steem that is full of bad experiences, bad patterns, false beliefs about yourself.

A mistake is comparing with others. Do they have the same conditions around them? Do they have the same personalities, the same difficulties? Do they all have a damage self-steem?

I wish you see things in a different way tomorrow and that when you get up, you look at yourself in the mirrow and say: I'm a marvellous person who is going to do my best today for me and for my loved people.