Quote:
Originally Posted by Rose76
In looking at the initial post, I'm seeing things in a different light. Seems we've overlooked something important. So, initially, it was not your husband who "put you out." You came up with that bright idea. You figured that it was "his house." Neither one of you seems to have much idea what marriage is.
If he wanted to leave for awhile, you should have just let that happen and see what would come of it. (or tried to encourage him to stay and talk.) Did you leave because you were afraid of feeling stuck with the mortgage payment?
You relate that he said you "could stay in the house." It does sound like you think of him as a father. But it was you who provided him with a place to live prior to the wedding. Or, rather, your parents did. Not many parents would fork out for an apartment for their daughter attending college who had a man living with her in the apartment. Your parents did you no favor. You and your husband got to play house for a few years, while someone else picked up the tab. Neither one of you had to have real responsibility for that apartment, so neither one of you matured.
Now, when your husband declines to pay for your graduate courses, your folks automatically pay the bill. That also is not normal parent behavior.
The two of you have only had real adult responsibility for the past two years. Neither of you were ready for it. So, before the second year of marriage is out, the relationship falls apart. Now I kind of see why. He was easy to get along with, as long as he had a free roof over his head. At the time you let him move in, he was unemployed. You took him in kind of like how a girl would take in a stray puppy. That's not how you shop for a husband. You two are with each other for the wrong reasons.
Rather than a divorce, I might suggest an annulment. This has never been a true marriage.
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Yes your right Rose. I told him I would leave thinking it would be for a couple of days to cool off. At that time I didnt know that the house was just in his name. Either way he would of paid the mortgage. I left on a Monday then on Wednesday I was on my way home and he said I couldnt come home. Then the rest went from there. I did encourage him that we both stay. At that time all I could get out of him was "I'm having a lot of metal problems" He also said he didnt want me to see him this way. The following week I went home. He told me to leave that he wasn't ready for me to come home yet. That's when he started to cry and hold himself in a fetal position. That's when the blame started. When he moved in I had about 5 months left on the lease. We then got our own place, a one bedroom apartment. We then rented a house, then got married. He bought the home and moved in three months after we married.
Because he paid for my tuition he said I acted like he was an ATM. I didn't cook so why should he continue to pay. He works at a stressful job and he claims "I" have no idea how it works. I mentioned the payment to my parents and they paid for it. This month when it was due he payed for it. He said it wasn't about the money its because I didn't appreciate him paying it.
Yes, I think back and wonder if it would of been different if he left. I cant change it now. Your right again Rose. He does not like to pay for anything. Yet, he has a nice bank account but acts like he is penniless.