i have not done trauma therapy just cuz of my dissociation and there is such a wall up and i would shut down and have more dissociation. i am having an increase the last few months because of a lot of change in life and stress though and seeing my psychiatrist more often.

i am hoping one day i can do actual therapy before she retires because like you i have tried to figure out what event(s) have caused what..but because there is so much i don't remember, it's almost impossible to do that in order to process them.

i recently had a new kind of memory/flashback, but it was so far away and so strange that i am not sure if it was real or my brain trying to connect my reaction to something so just kind of put something in my head.