Hi LucyD, I agree. I should realize that it’s impossible to know what others are thinking without them telling me. It’s strange that the people I know usually say I seem fine… Maybe I’m concentrating on the wrong people? Or maybe everyone does have different standards or beliefs that may cause these differences? If so, maybe we all have to avoid those who don’t accept us and hang around the ones who do.

Hi Divine1966. Thank you for being honest. Yes, I often don’t reply back only to thank someone. I’ve always thought some people don’t like it, so avoid doing so. The reason why… I worry I may be overly clingy by doing so, especially since I’m a stranger. Plus, there are so many people on this site needing help that I didn’t think a simple thank you is the norm. I was very thankful, however. So please, accept this late apology, and thank you for your advice. I did think over it, and it was very helpful. I didn’t know you would still remember it. I often send e-mails or messages to people that are complete in form and I don’t receive a reply, and I think nothing of it. Maybe I should rethink thanking people? Or is it certain people? I don’t feel “enmeshed” in the community here, I think. I've been slowly using this site offline rather than logged in, like I did before I joined. I guess I don't have much of the energy these days to reply. What is the norm for thanking people? I’ll be honest, Divine1966. The reply did upset me… but mainly because I’m a sensitive person. I can still take it though, and I’m not in a bad place myself. Just so you know, I was not ignoring you for fun or personal gain. I feel very uncomfortable with strangers, and maybe I did something wrong.

That’s something to think about. Would this mean I might ignore others, or am unthankful? To tell the truth, I kind of ignore others, as far as being quiet and not starting conversations often. I rarely ask for help or favors as well, so I usually don’t have a reason to show thankfulness. If I do, I always tell the person “thank you,” even multiple times, or find a way to show thanks. I’ve been told by people offline that I’m thankful, although I may truly have lapses in this in certain domains, such as online. I’ll think about that. Hmm… I do try to be polite. I try to open up to conversation when people talk to me, although I may act nervous. That can explain how people may act colder or rude to me over time if they were expecting me to become friends or acquaintances with them. However, I think making friends or acquaintances should be a choice, shouldn’t it? Is it a reasonable explanation for people to be upset with me?

It sounds like I'm imposing a double standard. I can be cold and aloof around others, but they can't be around me? Jeez, I need to think about that. I didn't think about that.

Besides that, however, I don't ignore others who were previously friendly with me, though, or act rude to strangers. I should ask someone I trust to watch how I behave in public sometime.

Some people who’ve known me have called me intimidating, however, so maybe I might come off as brash or aloof too much. I’ll try to keep a clear mind about this the next time I go out. When I’m around people, I mostly feel nervous.

I do have something that might be considered a problem, however. One way I coped with difficulties in my life was to make myself "guidelines" over what things to feel over certain events. It's doesn't work completely efficiently, even if it's a bad way of going about things, but for example, I'll stop myself from becoming too emotionally involved with things such as when these people out in public give me angry glances because I define the event and move on. Are they upset because they think I'm acting haughty by not acting in a normal way? I've been told I act robotically.


However, I don’t think this covers why strangers or people I’ve only gotten to know a little bit will act coldly to me, and why it's usually women. I wonder if it has to be appearance based, since that’s all they know about me at that point, or the other reasons I listed, such as my own fault in thinking.