Hi I'm new to this forum. I just want to make some friends here because I'm really struggling. I hate myself so much and cannot concentrate on work. I'm at work at the moment and what should be taking me 15 minutes to do is taking over 2 days to do. I keep spacing out and googling random things on the internet. I can't interact with people because I don't know what to say. Anytime that I am not at work I am either playing games or watching tv. I'm so afraid of not having that noise there, so afraid of anything outside of doing anything other than numbing my brain with meaningless entertainment. I'm so sick of myself and so sick of my preoccupation with myself. I keep thinking in my brain that I want to die.

What should I do?