Yesterday morning I got up earlier than normal and found my boyfriend was already up, I sneaked downstairs to see what he was up to (in a playful way I had no suspicions!) he was on his computer and I saw a video playing although I do not know what of - he saw me and immediately unplugged the computer without shutting it down...he would never do this as I saw he also had his web design programmes running so will have lost work on the back of it. I asked him what it was and after a while of a calm disagreement he admitted to me he has strange fetishes, I thought I had heard everything there is to hear but this shocked me...he admitted he likes watching extreme domination - this includes things I've never even dreamt up like gigantic women torturing tiny men, men being seriously hurt by women (I won't go into details), he admitted he was watching gay porn too although he claims he's not gay but was doing it as he would see this as a form of torture for him, he says he watches rape, snuff, hidden camera and toilet porn too but worst of all he admitted to watching videos of small animals (baby mice and bugs) being crushed and stamped on by women in heels - I feel physically sick and don't know how to deal with this, I have questioned him for 24 hours over it and he says it's not the fact the animal is being crushed it's the fact the woman is dominant enough to extinguish life. He claims they are just fantasies and things he thinks about and wouldn't actually do any of them...plus he doesn't want to be the one doing harm anyway he fantasises about being the harmed but that he thinks he has a problem as he is spending time alone at work watching the videos and his lunch breaks are spent looking at them too - he is such a kind and caring man, like I've never met before but I don't know if I can cope with this? He says he will stop watching them but how can I believe him when he's done it for 20 years and has only just been caught out? Should I leave him? Is there any help he can get? I have no one to talk to as how could I explain this behaviour to a friend and expect them to look him in the eye again....I just do not know what to do.