Sometimes when you're quiet and shy, people either think you don't like them, think you're better, or simply just prefer your own company.

They'll read your mind just like you read theirs.

I try to be friendly with everyone at work. When someone seems quiet, I'll still initiate conversations with them. They may even be friendly back (nearly always are) but over time I may end up not bothering because I feel like I'm just annoying them and intruding on their space if they never initiate conversations with me. I can be friendly and on good terms with someone without really interacting with them: if they seem to prefer their own company, I'm not going to drag them into a group conversation if I know they have difficulty even 1:1.

Then again, if you act cold and aloof.... well, I wouldn't bother talking to someone who was like that around me. I spend enough time putting effort into maintaining my own happy little exterior that I don't need to be around someone who is going to pull my mood down. Being cold and aloof definitely gives other people the message that you don't like them.

Anyway. Good luck! I'm sorry that it seems like all the women you spend time around are focused on appearances - I don't think I really know any women who are that focused on it. Then again, I live in a small isolated community so perhaps that is why.