thanks clarity. i am on an antidepressant. i know which part it is. her name is maggie. she has wanted to die for a long time. she does not come out much anymore. thursday was a really hard day at work with the negative energy all about and i think it took its toll on me. then i had another who says really negative stuff about how i deserve to die. He was out too. and i was thinking i should tell, but the littles took over and were going on and on about it being a secret and we have to keep secrets or we will be hurt. i tried journaling with them to find out what was going on and some pretty horrific mean stuff towards me came out. i havent been through this kind of "take over" since i have been diagnosed. i now know what t is talking about now when i talked about going off the deep end and being insane as it really being the DID in action. i see her in about an hour and there is still a part of me that feels like i should keep this whole episode a secret. maybe my fear of being committed. though she as explained again and again that she is committed to never doing that to me. so maybe i will try journaling some now and see if anything more constructive comes out to share. thanks and have a good day everybody.