It's important to know you diagnosis. So yes I would ask because they have to put down a diagnosis when they file for insurance claims, so she should have a good idea by now. I would be a little more direct than you suggested.

I really learned my diagnosis from the reciept that I recieved from my pdoc but my therapist agreed with it. I have however wondered if I might also be BPD but have been too scared to ask. After thinking over my response to your question, I think that I will ask next time I go, because it is good to know what information is floating about out there in the insurance databases.