Hey pinksoil!

I hope you're feeling better. I've been following your posts (sometimes I'm too swamped at work to comment). I hope the depression is lifting some. What a total drag! (And for the umpteenth time, I think you have a wonderful therapist!)

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pinksoil said:
Does your T help the group focus on the process? Meaning, does the group just focus on content (peoples' stories, etc.) or the here-and-now interactions and dynamics of what is going on between members?

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Yes, he often stops the group to focus on how people are interacting. Whether someone is expressing admiration in a roundabout fashion or feeling competitive or even being flirtatious in their interactions. It's often fascinating because it's stuff that's there but I'm not conscious of (too subtle for my awareness).

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Does your T ever confront you in group when you don't participate?

Or does he say, "Sid? What do you think about.......?"

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Yes, he checks in with me. Though he asks me how I feel rather than what I think -- I sure wish he'd ask me what I think! It's much harder for me to express how I feel. Sometimes I just ramble on without making much sense, and then I feel embarrassed about it.

He says he's going to check in with me more often because I'm having such a hard time jumping in. Naturally I dread that (sometimes I'm really unprepared for it when he asks me something in group), but it may be helpful. I think he was trying not to scare me off at first.

So that's a little bit of what goes on. It's all scary stuff for me. And something about fear really pisses me off. I mean, I just get annoyed / mad / irritated / grouchy etc. when I think about group. It's hard to think about trying something when I have this terrible negative attitude settling in on me like a cloud. Maybe I express fear by being angry. I tend to mix the emotions all up and laugh when things are bad, etc. Blah.

Okay before I stop making sense altogether, I must go to bed!

Sidony