I feel so broken right now so I decided to ask for help. I don't have even one friend, I know that everyone hates me, especially my family. I don't know if I'm depressed because I never went to psychologist but I tried to commit suicide but in the last second my dad saw me and stopped me. Then everyone told me that they love me but I know that they are lying. They hate me so I have to hate them too and usually when you hate someone you wish him to die but I think... he enjoys his life more than I enjoy so why he needs to die? I should be dead. But even though I wish every night that I'll never awake again, I can't die or at least try to commit suicide because pain scares me. I'm so alone and I feel like the darkness possess me and no one can help me. Everyone looks at my face and makes a weird expression which I assume is disgust. Please someone help me and I can't go to psychologist because if I tell what I feel to my parents they say immediately "nonsense".
Sorry for my bad English.