Everything is getting so loud. My head hurts and I feel like the others are looking through my eyes. There is pressure beyond what I can explain. I lose so much time. Feeling so small and lost. They are writing but I am afraid to go back and read what they have written. My mind is not my own. Sometimes I feel them coming at other times they just overtake. I feel lost inside and out. I am scared of what all is taking place. We try to go to the garden, just to sit for awhile. The little ones do not understand playing as it was not permitted. We take our drawings and colors but we are afraid someone will come take them or break them up. I come back after time is gone and there are drawings that I do not do. It scares me. I have not shared this before as it makes me feel crazy. I know I am not alone, I never have been. But I always thought that everyone was this way. It seems to be getting worse and I have less control now. I have feelings that I do not understand.

purplesecrets