OE,

I can certainly relate to your depressive episodes. Mine can last anywhere from hours to days. Coming out of it is a gradual process, though, and during that time I am very fragile and easily hurt, so I basically 'crawl back into my cage' until it passes. A song called "Simon" by Lifehouse says it so well, it has become my own personal anthem during such times.

Catch your breath, hit the wall
Scream out loud
As you start to crawl
Back in your cage
The only place
Where they will leave you alone
'Cuz the weak will seek the weaker til they've broken them
Could you get it back again?
Would it be the same?
Fulfillment to their lack of strength at your expense
left you with no defense
They tore it down.
Wouldn't I have felt the same
As you I've felt the same
As you I've felt the same
Locked inside the only place
Where you feel sheltered
Where you feel safe
You lost yourself
In your search to find
Something else to hide behind
'Cuz the fearful always prey upon your confidence
Didn't they see the consequence?
They pushed you around
The arrogant build Kingdoms made of the Different Ones
Breaking them until they become
Just another crown
As you I've felt the same
As you I've felt the same
As you I've felt the same
Refuse to feel anything at all
Refuse to slip, refuse to fall
You can't be weak
You can't stand still
Watch your back 'cuz no one will
You don't know why you had to go this far
Traded your worth for these scars, for your only company
Don't believe the lies that they have told to you
Yeah, not one word was true
You're alright, you're alright, you're alright
And I have felt the same
As you I've felt the same
As you I've felt the same

As much as I adore my husband, I'm like you in that I'd rather he not be around simply because there are some aspects to living with PTSD that he simply doesn't understand and can sometimes make things worse. I know it's not his intention, but knowing that doesn't make the depression any less worse (does that make sense? LOL). The big one I'm trying to deal with right now is that it has recently come to my attention that he doesn't understand the difference between self-pity and depression. I bookmarked the article and am waiting for the right time to show it to him - like after I get over being royally pissed that he thinks I spend too much time on self-pity.

As to the ADHD, I'm the one in my family who has it and I can't help but wonder if your husband has the same attitude as I do. I choose not to take the meds for it because I see it as a difference, not a disorder, and besides, it only drives other people crazy - it doesn't bother me at all.

WW