The T is very experienced, and I absolutely trust my current T's judgement and I think she knows what I need, and I trust that if she really respects someone, they're probably pretty darn good...but this T has written some things about repressed memories/satanic ritual abuse/government mind control, etc. that sort of worry me. I won't try to get into a debate about whether this stuff is real or not, because that's not really relevant and this isn't the place for that, but I am very sure that I was never sexually abused as a child and I don't have any repressed memories, and my opinion is that memory is incredibly unreliable anyway.

But I also have had Ts in the past who tried to suggest that there was more to certain stories than I was telling them, ex. that my stepfather once taking off my pants when I was thirteen in an attempt to stop me leaving the house when we were fighting meant that he had sexually abused me, and I was very suggestible to that particular T (and I tend to get very suggestible when I feel maternal transference towards a T), and I started believing that maybe that was true, even though part of me knew it absolutely wasn't, but I just wanted to please that T, and I don't want to get into that pattern again.

I know that maybe this is just one way that this T does therapy and she isn't necessarily going to push that on me, but at the same time, I'm worried I might not realize it until it's too late, like with the T who kept suggesting that maybe I had been sexually abused - it didn't come up until several years into working together, and sometimes it can be subtle and insidious. Also, this T has written some stuff such as that certain sexual fantasies (ex. being hurt) come from sexual abuse, and that I just don't agree with and feel pretty sensitive about and would not like a T who might respond to me by saying that something like that comes from abuse.

I also know that this T has worked with a well-known author who has written extensively about being ritually abused by a cult and how this T was the only person who believed her and saved her life, etc. and how she had a lot of maternal transference towards this T, and that worries me a lot as well...I mean, I will probably do a consult with her, just because I trust my current T so much and current T really thinks this T will be able to help me, but I am also really skeptical, but I don't want to hurt current T's feelings or question her judgement...ugh...am I overreacting?