Hi Kelli. Welcome to Psych Central. I am sorry you have so much pain. It is a natural impulse to want to lessen pain, but there are other ways beside self medicating.

Do you have a psychiatric doctor that you could explain your situation to? In the article below some diagnoses actually have the tendency to have people self medicate. With the psych doc, there could be ways to get a more balance medication combo that treats your symptoms and helps you wean yourself off self medicating. Check with your psych doc which self medicating drugs might react with the prescribed meds from the pdoc.

Here is an article that might be of interest
Depression and Substance Abuse: The Chicken or the Egg? | Psych Central

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