i never did well with meds. when i was 14, they put me on SSRIs which either had zero effect or gave me adverse reactions. i then was tried on zyprexa/olanzapine when it was so new they didn't know weight gain was a side effect. as a result of that, i gained a lot of weight in a short time and then developed an eating disorder trying to lose the weight. it was one of the worst things to happen to me which made me fear other meds afterwards. i tried another few things after it but only managed to feel anything positive from lorazepam/ativan and seroquel as needed. i used to be able to take a little higher dose but now can just take very miniscule amounts and still feel the effect of the meds. they don't always help like i need, like during a crisis, but i have a hard time taking a med daily so just use them as needed.