I'm so sorry your are feeling scared. I agree with Fizzyo be kind to yourself. You have a story and a purpose. It took me a long time to figure out my purpose and I'm still working on that. Sometimes it takes a lot of feeling around in the dark to find a match that will shed enough light to give hope on finding another match. Sometimes we get lucky and find a flashlight. You are extremely brave and are fighting a battle that few have the courage to fight. You should be proud of who you are and how far you have come. Great Job! Good Luck tomorrow!