Thanks everyone for your replies.
I'm financially dependent on my husband. I'm sure I could get a min. wage job but I don't know if I could support myself just on that.
No one knows how bad I feel! If I tell my H he'll just say, u need to go back to therapy & then stay away from me. We've grown so far apart I don't recognize him anymore.
I don't recognize what I've become...just a blob in space waiting for my own death.
I mean now I'm thinking well if H would just keel over....things would b great! Who thinks like that! Very sick people I think. Am I very sick?
I'm just....nothing to no one.