bloodyapple, I know how it feels like to want to reach out but to be also held back by your own self. I know how it feels to have parents not truly understand the experience that you are going through. Exactly how you have described it - parents saying it is all "nonsense".... In a perfect scenario your parents would be the first people that you reach out to. Unfortunately, sometimes, they do not make themselves available in the way you wish they did as they have their own problems to work through and cannot see things from their children's perspectives... Reach out to whoever you can at the moment. If not your parents, consider talking to a trusted friend. Would seeing a psychologist be an option for you?