((Patagonia)),

How you are discribing your feelings is how the PTSD is challenging you, it doesn't actually mean you "are" worthless. You are "hurt" and when your husband answers you with "you need to see your therapist", what he is saying is that "he" doesn't know how to help you, he is not a professional, and most people just don't know what to do or how to help when they have a spouse with PTSD.

Feeling far apart from a spouse while struggling with PTSD is what usually takes place. A person's mind is very distracted with the PTSD so it's hard to "feel" like one can function normally. You "need" support from people who "do" understand and can relate, you need "help" with the children while you work on yourself too. PTSD means your subconscious mind is confused and distracted, it takes time to work on that. I wish I could say there is a quick "fix" but there isn't, you need to continue with therapy and dig around and figure some things out so you begin to make gains on having more times where you have a sense of balance. Also, your sense of personal boundaries are very challenged. I have definitely experienced that myself, there were boundary issues I struggled with that I had not realized before, I work on that as these triggers come up.

The desire to "get away" is because somehow you feel you need time out from the day to day distractions so you can collect yourself. You "can" make gains on this, but you need to find a therapist to help you work through this, with an understanding that it really "does" take time.

((Gentle Understanding Supportive Hugs)))
OE