I don't mean to stir the pot here but it's possible she's messing with you if she doesn't like you? A lot of what you described almost sounds like he needs her approval almost to an unhealthy amount. There may be something really weird going on there or maybe not. Have you spoken to him about this? Have you considered counseling? It's up to you if you want to sneak up on them. Prepare yourself for if they catch you. They'll prob be angry and you may see something you don't want to. In the end I think your safest option is talking. If things get weird or bad come see us again Sorry I can't help more this is a very unique circumstance that Ive ever heard of.