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alexandra_k said:
I don't want to feel angry at her because I don't want to put my Father in any more of an uncomfortable position than he is already. I don't want to promote tension or hostility between them.

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It is both okay to feel angry (and if you are angry, "reasons" don't matter, it is detrimental to you to NOT feel it!) and you are not responsible for your father's and stepmother's marriage!

My stepmother threw that at me once, that I almost caused them to get divorced. My T made short shrift of that! Their marriage was their own problem and had nothing at all to do with me.

We can't control our feelings, they just are. They are just there to help us communicate with and orient ourselves? "Refusing" to accept that one feels angry cuts off the flow of information telling one's self that there's a problem that needs addressing. Not addressing problems leads to unnecessary frustration or worse, feeling like one can't address the problem which leads to depression. "Stuckness" is never a good thing :-)