I now have come to the realization that my neurologist was doing me a big favor when he prescribed oxycodone for me to be taken every 8 hours even though it wears off every 4 hours. He didn't want me to become addicted. I, not wanting to be in pain, and wanting to feel the "high," took it every three hours or so.

Yesterday, when I saw the spine specialist, learned from him that it is better for someone with addictive tendencies to be in pain than to risk becoming addicted again. Tomorrow when I see the physician's assistant at the pain management place will need to be upfront with him about my past addiction to pain meds so that he takes that into consideration when prescribing pain meds (if he even does).

I'm also going to an NA meeting today just so I keep my head in the right place on this whole matter. Today, still experiencing withdrawals somewhat, had to call in "sick" to the place I volunteer at and didn't go jogging. Not the way I want to live my life. I need to get a handle on things before they get even more out of control.