Hmm. Maybe it's not good to reply to every thoughtful post--takes up a lot of space, keeps putting my thread at the top of the list, etc.

Innerzone, thank you for taking the time to write all that you did. You understand changeability. I hope it doesn't cause you the pain and regret that mine does sometimes. We're doing our best and I, anyway, need to not despise myself.

I tend to try to keep any new friendships from getting too deep, because of the possibility of letting the person down in a few months.

I'm looking for a way to not do that. It would sound easy to anyone who doesn't have this problem. It isn't. But I have some ideas.

Anyway, thanks to everyone. I'm getting a better idea of what's going on, and when you know the problem, that's a start.