saw T. we talked about the chapter and i let him read the things i highlighted. i almost cried when we were talking about how the memories come up and i try so hard to push them away. thankfully i didnt cry but my eyes were full of tears. we played cards some. T asked if i think im getting better. i said yes. i told T i know i used to be a pain in the ***. he said yeah but you were a lovable pain the ***.

T is going on vacation late july. he is most likely going to colorado to backpack in the wilderness again. (he always does that ) i emailed him the other night saying i don't want him to go because i always get scared he's going to get eaten by a bear. at the end of the session i asked him if he got my email about the bear and he smiled and said yes. he said it is good that im letting myself care about him and be attached. i said yeah but i always think you're going to die! i guess thats part of the risk...

im at my friends house now. she's in class , she left the key for me. im waiting for her to come home then we are gonna hang out til i go in to work at 5. only a 4 hour shift then im off wednesday. i asked off for thursday bc of my dads death anniversary. i really hope they give it to me and i dont have to talk to them about it. they should give it to me because i requested off in the beginning of april. but if they do schedule me on thursday im just going to tell them i asked off and am not able to work. the new manager is arrogrant and i dont like him, so hopefully they let me off so i dont have to talk to his janky ***. lol