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Originally Posted by eskielover
You never answered about whether either or both of you are of a different culture even though you live in California...All that that just means that you don't live in a different country. His values & your reactions both come across as coming from a different cultural background. Also, the tenses that you use in writing here comes across as someone who's native language isn't english. Also, different cultures, the man feels like it is his responsibility to provide the house.....we don't know what you might have told him in the past about the kind of house you want to live in or what kind of house you don't want to live in. It's obvious that your parents have money or they couldn't pay for all your schooling & your apartment through your masters. It could be that he felt the requirement to provide you a home that you were used to living in with your family (before the apartment)....could be that somewhere along the line he heard you possibly say...I wouldn't want to live in a house like that.....so this is what he felt pressured to pick out for you....also just curious....how naive you could be to think that he bought the house & you were living in it & you never signed anything for the loan.....how could you think that you were on the house when you never even signed anything for it.....I read everything that is put in front of me & I know what every piece of paper I sign is for.... It's like you are so used to people taking care of you that you have NO IDEA what the real world is like. There may be some validity in the things that your H does have to say.....but neither of you are approaching your marriage in a mature way.
So he was getting a free place to stay in your apartment while your parents paid for it for 4 years until you got married?
It's more than just not cooking every day......all this started AFTER you got married...not just a few months ago.....also seems that he has different expectations from a wife than of a live in GF?.
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No. My parents paid for my apartment when I first started out in college. he moved in for about 6 months, once the lease was up. We moved and got out own place. We split the rent. Once I moved in with him my parents didnt pay for anything.
I never told him to buy a house larger than my parents. He was looking for homes while I was traveling. HE found the one were in now and bought it. HE bought it with his credit and was going to add my name to the deed. When we went in to have my name added on, it wasnt added to the deed. It was removed from me having any rights to the home. Yes. It is my fault for not asking. I take responsibilty fot that.
You can purchase a home for the loan by yourself, then add the spouses name on it.
I am relating what he said to me about the cooking, matching socks, and cleaning up after him. He never complained in the past about nothing!! Yes it probably did start happening shortly after the wedding. He didnt say anything until February of this year. Thinking back to after the wedding. He didnt change, he was the same person. In February he changed and was not the man I married.
We discussed with eachother about me going on to get my masters. He said he would work full time and pay for it. I contribute to the bills and other things as needed. By him paying the mortgage and tuition isnt relying on him. If he decided not to want to pay it then all he had to do was tell me. I would of taken out a loan. Initially, we didnt want to have a lingering bill. Not have me leave for a month and not being able to come home. Yes, I know I left assuming it would of been for a couple days of cooling off. It didnt happen that way. I know what the real word is like. I handle a lot myself and handle it well.
I got my own jobs. Interviewed and negotiated pay. HE works for his step dads family business. Now, who relies on whom?
Again, communicating is something that needs to be done in a relationship. If he wanted something to change then speak up. Different exepections. One dont know until you speak.