I was moved by your post, as well. Right now I am separated from my husband so I know what it's like to feel all alone, even though you are surrounded by people. It hurts. Other people make their lives seem flawless and easy. Mine is messy and chaotic. I don't have good advice for you. I just wanted to co-miserate with you a bit and tell you that you are not the only one going through this. Here's to hoping things start looking up for you and me.