I get kinda freaked out when I hear stories like this. I'm sure I would enjoy the effects of opiates since I've been clean so long. I would rather suffer than get stuck back in my addictions. Because of this, I try alternatives for pain such as: exercise, healthy diet/nutritional supplements, massage, physical therapy, meditation. One of the best things for pain is sitting in a hot Jacuzzi for as long as I can take it. Most gyms have one. I know everyone is different and everyone has different pain threshholds. I hope you get help before your addiction gets completely out of control. Because that's what addictions do--get out of our control.