More cogentin because the tremors are bad

I'm so confused.

Maybe another year of upgrading my high school marks and then what.. I want to live a good life..

Maybe I should go back to welding idk I can't after being there it makes me homicidal.. I had two good opportunities but I don't want to go into the trades.

I want to go far in life for what I think and to me that takes studying lots which means that i need to be ok and content or at least know that there is such thing as euphoria to turn back to when I forget to get started on giving a crap about me. People force me to care about myself which isn't good.