I just see everyone else in my life in her that has l left me. Logically I know she won't leave and that I'm just putting all the bad things in my past on her, but emotionally I can't stop myself from thinking about it mindfulness works as long as I don't talk or see her I'm fine but then I lose my best friend that as been my friend got 11 years and not all of them good. So I don't know how to change my head counseling helps some but I only go once a week