Thanks for the support. I had another episode of this overwhelming feeling and depression again. When I'm in it it seems unbearable, and at a certain point I won't care about getting out of it; I just want it to stop. I used to drink or do drugs when this happened, but I've come too far to go back to that, which would only make me feel worse. There are moments when I feel like this is hopeless, which scares me since I haven't felt that way since I was hospitalized in July of last year, (and when I was triggered in December), but it's happening more often.

On the bright side, I've been running. I ran 6.5 miles a couple days ago and 2 miles earlier today after I had that episode.
I remind myself everyday that I can make it through these spells, but when I look at a bigger picture I feel like I'm still barely functional.

I try to hang on to the fact that I am doing my best, and even if I feel like giving up at times, I am not giving up. I feel a little triumphant almost everyday.