I don't see a reason for keeping on living any further. 2yrs ago, my to-be-wife left me for religious reasons. I don't know why I can't get a normal grade on any of my final exams at university. I always get grades in the high 80s during all courses, but then for some reason I get in the mid 40's on my finals. My mother just isn't here for me since she started living with her new bf. I live by myself in this big house. I go to work and people think I am an outcast or something just because I am worried not to bother anyone. Then they realize I am not, but first impression is always weird. Got involved in an accident recently that hurt my neck and totalled my car. Ever since, it's been a struggle for me with insurance to get them to even do anything. First they tried saying I was at fault, then they figured I was not. So they offered me money, but there is just something else that needs to be done and I am stuck with a broken car. I will probably hae to quit school with my final exam grades. And I am going through this and other **** all by myself in the big empty house. I see no future for myself. Just stuck in an infinite ****-loop with no exit condition. I am respected by my friends and they ask for my help all the time, but I can't get to share any of this with anyone of them as I feel like it would seem to them completely incompatible with my personality that they have seen. Everyone has some expectation of me - big or small - but noone asks how I feel or what it costs me. I am tired of living like this. My energy is gone and I just want to be gone forever and put an end to it all.