If you do decide on divorce, you might consider just relinquishing any claim on the equity that you might have. Figure out how much he contributed to the cost of your schooling. Subtract that from what equity you might have in that house. If the result is less han $5000, I would tell him to keep it.

The name of the game is not to extract every penny you can out of any possible divorce settlement. If you leave, the goal is to leave him with as little reason as possible to ever bother you again.