Hey hunny, sometimes (taking me for instance) the abuse is so prolonged that our world is dark. We are co-conscience, that is aware. We may be different others, but we are somewhat always aware. My conscience is the thoughts of the alters, so I'm always changing (I just can't get over that cliche). I always see, but I'm not the last person you see.

When I looked in, I saw darkness with each alter lined up in columns and rolls waiting, having a single light over their head casting shadows down their faces. Pretty systematic.

Recently though, upon finally accepting all this, my head has been building a house that we all live in, out of the dark shadows. Haven't seen the dark shadow existence since. I even dream about it. I see thousands of rooms down multi floors with unfamiliar familiar people milling about.

According to others suffering, your inner world is what you make of it. But if you are like me, going unaware isn't possible. I just don't remember what we did yesterday, nor the rest of my life.

I'm already past my abuse, but struggling to deal with life.

I hope that helps somewhat.