My sister and I are close, but I can hear in her tones (and often her very words) her judgments of me. We were raised by different people, and she's very religious, and I'm not. I have a tendency to put myself down a lot, and if I screw up, I start telling myself they were right, and I always F up, I'm stupid, etc. I don't know why some people's opinions bother me, because they don't always. I do lots of things without a care in the world as to what anyone thinks, but when I'm depressed, I end up joining in on the "beat-up-Maven" party.

I don't know why I sleep all day, except that I like being up at night. I sleep up to 14 hours a day, and my doctor is having me do a sleep study in hopes of finding out. I have more peace at night, I'm more creative at night, I like the quiet.

Yes, my boyfriend works as a computer programmer. I don't work. I'm on Social Security disability. We spend time together, mostly on the weekends, although that's being dropped from two days to one, because he needs to do more work for extra money. Most of the time he's home, he's either asleep or in his office with the door closed. He's been telling me he's getting bills out late, and one thing he's been paying is on the storage unit with my mom's stuff (she passed January of last year), and if that's late, besides possibly losing my mom's stuff, it will hurt my credit.

Oh, he's told me he doesn't want me to be with him because I have to depend on him and vice versa, but that is partly why we're together. It's not the only reason, but I am dependant on him.