I miss my childhood. I can't go back there, but I want to live in an area that inspired me so much as a boy. I wanted to have a house there and just explore the wilderness alone and be on my own adventures being my inner child again. Reliving what I lost. I've been crying so hard, because I never wanted to go back so bad and never wanted die for it. Being able to see the world at 3 feet all was so amazing.

Feeling that naive feeling again of such adventure. I'd kill myself if that was taken from me by anyone including myself. Man this photo I found and everything I've been feeling. I fear of losing my mom and knowing living in the suburbs just hurts so much. I hate it here. I miss the country so much.
I have an attachment of an area similar to my upbringing. The feelings it gave me are so powerful. I make music about it.

That I've always wanted to run away be a wild boy in the woods living with the creatures protecting the woods. I had many deep soul feelings of finding my love of nature so close. After seeing so much disappear in my life so fast. I need to hold on to it or else I have nothing left. That pain is so powerful.

So hard man I've not cried so hard in so long and I fear of letting my mom know. It's so hard to understand how painful this feels.