I didn't step into my next train. I'm now sitting at the train station. I'm trying to keep if together. I'm trying to not start crying in front of all these strangers. I don't know what to do. I feel so anxious. I'm too afraid to see you. But I don't have anyone else.
In 10 minutes you will expect to see me. I haven't missed an appointment in so long. I missed only like 2 in the very beginning. Normally I'm always on time.
You will hate me so much. You will not want to see me anymore. You will see what I have known all along; that I'm a wast if your time. I'm worthless.

I will send you an email. So you will know I'm not coming. Sorry. I really sorry.