Just finished with consult #4. Asked the T if she had a supervisor - the answer: I've been practicing for 15 years and I'm done with supervision, I've been there and don't need it anymore. BUT she has her own therapist (volunteered this information without me having to ask) and consults with her peers when necessary, but "it's an equal relationship, not like a supervisor." I just got a weird vibe from that...and during the consult she seemed very skilled, very knowledgable, but I just didn't feel much...warmth?

I don't know...perhaps I'm too used to current T's high level of warmth...but this T kept saying, "I'm not a mind reader; you would have to tell me things or I wouldn't know them," like when I asked how she would know if we weren't working well together or about what would happen if I developed a maternal attachment to her...and when I opened up to her about my issues with that, I just didn't feel like she was very understanding, even though she has a lot of experience working with these kinds of attachment issues. But I felt the need to backtrack and tell her it probably wouldn't happen with her, I'm more aware of it now, it's less of an issue, etc. And I felt like maybe that was a bad sign. She just sounded very no-nonsense and not as warm as I might need, just because I am really sensitive...

On the bright side though, the T has over 15 years of experience, allows out of session contact when needed as long as you don't abuse it, seems pretty direct and straightforward, and sounded very confident and competent...I just don't know if I don't feel right with her because I don't feel right with her, or I am just very resistant to finding a new T.