It is the young who generally are the most angry. Stop being so amazed and surprised and incredulous of his feelings. His feelings are what they are. He doesn't see life as you do, and there are reasons for that. Clearly, you don't understand this man. There's a lot you don't understand . . . about a lot. It seems like you have a cheery outlook on life and can't grasp that not everyone shares that.

As we discussed earlier in the thread, there were probably hurts that came to him in life that he did not cope well with. His parents probably did not role model healthy coping skills. Try to maintain an attitude of detached compassion. He's to be pitied, as he is floundering and it's unlikely that he will ever be a happy human being. But all of that comes from his rotten attitudes, which you can't change. He's going to work hard to make sure that anyone who shares a life with him is as miserable as he is. If that's not what you want, you have a right to leave. Fortunately, there are no children to keep you linked to this man. So you can make a clean break and get a fresh start.

At any rate - you have that option. If you don't think you have a future with your husband, you might want to consider what signals you are sending him. If you are continuing to be intimate with him because you feel awkward refusing him, the you need to get out of that house. That's why I recommend a separation . . . the sooner the better. The job . . . your career . . . the coaching . . . may all have to be put on hold. This is a crisis in your life. You need to handle this properly now. Don't underestimate how vindictive a rejected, emotionally disturbed man can be. He does not sound rational to me. Your parents live more than 3 hours away. That sounds like an excellent location for you to retreat to, while you plan what to do about this marriage. If your state allows legal separations, you should get one immediately. I would advise that, even if I thought thought this marriage was salvageable. Without children to accomodate, there's less need for court mandated terms of separation . . . but you can still separate. You two are not in the process of working anything out. You're not making any progress together. (He is drifting further into his delusions, which I think is all he is going to do.)

Don't be drawn into any arguments. This isn't about getting mad at him. For all we know, he may not be able to help how he is. But you can help how your life is and what circumstances you are willing to tolerate. He may not be capable of change. Forgive him for that, but don't be trapped in the darkness, just because he is. Save yourself.