Hi,

I am a 28 years old healthy male (other than smoking and sedentary style of life). I was diagnosed with panic attacks 8 years ago and was given victan to alleviate it. It didn't work as intended, I was taking too many of those. Soon I started with Prozac. It did help alot, my panic attacks went away and I could function sexually.

In 2011 my father started to get worse (he was a psychotic his whole life, morbid jealousy was his flavour). We (my brother and I) took him to alot of medical appointments and got him started on antipsychotics (something he had been perscribed 30 years ago but never complied with the treatment). The antipsychotics just sedated him really, as the delusions he had kept coming back. We talked with alot of shrinks and all of them recommended he stayed on the medication and taken care of.

In early 2012 he was taken to a mental hospital (as he requested, he told us he wanted to get checked and get better). His stay there was troublesome, he had to be sedated just to obey the rules. I visited him every single day (by that time I had dropped out of college and had no work). It really traumatized me seeing him sedated and barely able to function. Yet it was a burden I had to carry. My mother has suffered from depression and anxiety all her life, I couldn't let her bear all that stress.

Then, little by little, doctors started saying that he was in a pre-dementia phase. When he was about to get released they found he had a hematoma in the brain so he was rushed to the hospital. They tried to drain his hematoma without surgery, with little success. He was submitted to a brain surgery and the hematoma was completely drained. While he was in the hospital the definitive diagnosis of dementia was being drawn. Little by little I was losing my father to a modern day disease. He was then transferred to a nursing home as me and my mother couldn't take care of him.

During this ordeal I found comfort in computer games and alcohol. I've never drunk alot of it but still, it helped me get by. Shortly after that suicidal tendencies started to appear which the shrink fought with Paxil. By that time I had dropped Prozac and started Paxil.

In 2013 I found a job in a call center in the neighbouring town. I've managed to stay there for 6 months until stress and anxiety beat me to it.

I've been through another job without any kind of problems but there's this little thing that's annoying me.

My mind seems to be racing all the time, I am very impatient. When something is not done on time or in the way I'd like I get angry. When I'm working I get these bursts of energy and all I think is getting back home. However when I'm at home I play computer games all day. I don't engage in social activities and have developped a mild case of misanthropy. I keep fidgeting with my hands all the time of tapping with my feet. Other people often referred to me as an hyperactive kid.

Since my new job is revealing itself to be very good and due to the fact that I have some interesting carreer perspectives I'd like to know what's wrong with me so I can treat it and move on.

sorry for the long of wall of text but I think it all had to be shared. And thank you.