Quote:
Originally Posted by WrkNPrgress
I'll add that I have always had a voice in my mind who is more like a big brother/sister to me. I talk to myself all the time. When I'm in a bad space, I forget that voice or lose it, for long periods of time. When I'm in a good space, I talk to myself in a supportive way. I can rely on this voice talk me down from my anxieties, to stop the negative rumination and redirect my thoughts.
I didn't realize, until I was in therapy, that this is basically a version of "supporting the inner child" and it's a skill I developed because of the lack of strong emotional support in my childhood.
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I do something similar. Since I was a little kid i have had a wolf that visits me in my head and talks to me about thingS. Despite an emotionally barren childhood with a mentally ill and abusive mother and absent father, she would come to me and tell me I was strong and loved and would get out of that home eventually. As I grew I internalized her voice so i.often hear "my wolf"'s voice in my head. Since I am a writer this never disturbed me. It was different in intensity than a character i.am writing talking to me but not different enough to feel crazy to me. She has supported me throughout my life and my T thinks it is almost like a bizarre highly functional form of DID without the memory loss. I basically took a part of myself and protected it from the horrible influences of my childhood. That part then came back and nurtured the rest of me. It's sort of wild. Her voice is like a bug sisters voice. Or at least that is how I perceive it, maybe In part because the idea of a mother in my head is very very disturbing to.me and makes me feel. Very uNsafe.