Rage is winning. There seems to be no end to this.
Our only son killed himself many years ago and it took me years to be able to talk about it, get over my anger at him for this impulsive act. He had every reason to live, if for no other reason than for his 8 yr. old son.

This son is now a grown married man and just had a son of his own so I am now a great grandmother. What should be a joyous event in our lives has unearthed the old anger.

Our son should be alive, enjoying this new baby instead of leaving such a legacy behind. My husband and I are rehashing old hurts....old acqusations of "we should have" or "you could have"......we find ourselves defending our parenting when no one is pointing any fingers at us.

Someone suggested that I should journal...that I could vent there and harm no one but I find the things I've written so hateful and scarey and then I think, stop playing victim and get over it....stop whinning!!

Easier said than done. Will this ever end??? Will this never end!!