gl:
are you being treated with any meds for depression or anything ? things don't sound too good on your end but I don't think that handing them to the receptionist is a good idea or a bad idea. It would be a good idea, if you're seeing a pdoc, to tell him what's going on because if it's to the point where you're drinking and taking pain pills, it's time to let the docs know that you cannot take what's going on in therapy. My heart goes out to you, I know all about the constant ache and hoping these meds I'm on help, if not it's on to something else. Seems endless but there is a light at the end of the tunnel -- the pain being tolerable.

Please consider telling someone about what's going on. You shouldn't have to go through this all by yourself.

Take Care.