OMG! This could have been written about me and my ex-husband; later to include my daughter. Gave me goose-bumps. When it's happening you try so hard to figure it out, usually on your own, but can never quite put your finger on it. I was in therapy the last few years of my marriage and my narcissistic husband hated my therapist, even tho he never met her, and hated that I even went. Was convinced we were discussing HIM. LOL Yeah, I can laugh now, but, at the time I was traumatized and looking back it scares me to see what people can do to each other.

My family was more on the just "nuts" side. They tried to take, or ruin, everything I tried to accomplish, e.g., my mother spent who knows how long trying to find out where I was going to college, "she wants to send you some flowers to show you how proud she is." I wasn't so far gone that I didn't recognize what that was really all about. Somehow, she found out and sent the Dean a letter trying to get me expelled. The Dean called me out of class to tell me about it and let me read the letter she had written to him; asking him how he could allow a person like me to go to his college. Humiliating, to say the least.

That was all child's-play compared to what I'm dealing with now. Haven't figured out where to put it yet, so will sit on it for now. It's one of those things I recognize the behavior but just can't exactly identify it. For some reason, if I can identify it I can understand it better and decide on a course of action (yup, OCD)

Thank you for posting this article; it was very helpful. Funny, even though I'm not there any more, seeing it in print reinforced my reality about it.

L4T