If you had parents who harmed you because they had deep psychological wounds, imagine how different things would have been for you if your parents had had a supportive space where they could work on their issues. You'd have likely had much better parents and come through childhood happier, more secure and better equipped for life's challenges.

Maybe it's selfish to spend all that time navel-gazing but it's the kind of selfish that (arguably) makes you less of an arsehole in the long run. So there are potentially huge altruistic dividends for that modest selfish investment.