My name is Chrissy/Caelix, I am 17 years old and could really use some help. For as long as I could remember I have been experiencing loss of time blackouts and feeling a out of body experience sensation. Where I can see what I am saying or doing but can do nothing to stop it. But lately that has changed and I cannot even remember whole days at times. My math teacher is getting pissed off because I cannot remember what she has taught me, its almost as if she never taught me the material and that I am learning it for the first time.

I have these voices in my head, constantly commenting on what I am doing or suggesting things I should do. I can understand what they are saying most of the time but at other times I cannot and it is just a bunch of static.
I find things I have written or posted online and it does not sound like something I would post. The things I have written do not look like my handwriting at all or something I would say.I have tried multiple times telling my psychiatrist about this and social worker but they just brush it off as anxiety.

I do suffer from depression,psychotic disorder,social anxiety.I just feel like something traumatic may have happened to me during my childhood. Due to the fact that most of my childhood is a blur, I sometimes have nightmares of someone molesting me but I cannot see their face and also if someone even a family member just touches me or hugs me; I flinch. My older sister used to grab me and shake me when I was younger as well, due to the fact that she had really bad mood swings.I am thinking of starting to write a journal like my social worker recommended but I honestly don't know where to start. What would you suggest would be a good place to start?