It looks like I'm a bit late to this one but I'll share none the less. I've been avoidant or rather a shut in for almost 10 years now, my only contact with people is with my wife and daughter, online were I mainly lurk, and at work were there is only 1 other person, who doesn't talk at all.

It was never a conscious decision but rather something that grew gradually with me entirely unaware that it was happening. Every person I became close to left or died. The people who were acquaintances or coworkers continually put me down, invalidating my opinions or beliefs. So I stopped trying. I've never seen it as a strength (and I don't mean to invalidate your belief that it is, it is not my point of view) but rather a weakness, I see people in the shows I watch and in all of the books I read. All of them seem to be able to connect with others without regard for the consequences. Every relationship is doomed to fail, we all die so it will end in death if not sooner by the betraying hands of those we trusted. Is it a strength then to be able to accept the pain knowingly or is it simply an unawareness of the pain to come, a hope perhaps that they die first so as not to feel the inevitable suffering.

As for myself, I chose to limit my suffering to two cases and hope that I die first.

I can relate to how you feel dancinglady. I have often shared personal experiences and tried to help those who I see to be in pain. Mostly I seem to go ignored, unacknowledged by any. The few times that I have been quoted it is often to tell me I'm wrong. It seems that I have an uncanny knack for being able to express myself in a way that others can understand which is why I mostly lurk, unseen, hiding in the shadows, were I get neither the acknowledgment I seek nor the rebuffs I fear most. Instead I embrace the emptiness that I have become.