I don't have the religious delusions but I believed for years that because I can't go to church (too overstimulating), can't be like the people I went to college with (at a strict Christian college), can't do so many things that God was going to reject me too. It took me about 6 years after diagnosis to figure out that God made me this way.

Most of my guilty stuff isn't even the things I do while manic. It's just life. I can take any mistake I ever made and it becomes this huge thing even though I really do know that it does not matter that a patient complained about me for this or that minor reason. It happened to everyone. It wasn't a big deal. But now it becomes huge even though it never should have been. My "friend" is only one example although she's the one I'll start googling and trying to figure out if I should contact her again (answer: no, she knows how to find me if she's ready to apologize). There are so many others.

I keep trying to tell myself it will go away soon.